I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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