Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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