I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
