it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
