I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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