It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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