She's JV to your varsity
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
