Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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