Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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