But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm too high and old for this...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
