I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
