Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
