I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
