Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
