Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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