I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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