they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
