Pants 0. Shit 1.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Nobody cheats on THIS.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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