seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
