I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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