I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i dont even know how to be here
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
BRING THE BAGELS
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
