2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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