Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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