She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
do herpes really smell.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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