i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
