Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
