remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
