Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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