Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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