i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
