I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
