i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
