My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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