OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
