I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
