i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
