Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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