Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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