Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
