There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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