A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
