I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
