All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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