bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
