what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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