I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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