Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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