In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
