so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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