WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
