I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
