What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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