ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think i peed on brittanys purse
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
