I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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